Web contactcenterhelp.com




customer service  
customer service
customer service
customer service

Foolproof Customer Service Strategies (That Only A Fool Would Try!)


Ever notice how customer service varies from store to store? You walk into some stores, and before you can say "Buzz off!" a salesperson asks "May I help you?"

"No thanks."

"May I help you?" asks another.

"No thanks."

"May I help you?" asks a third.

When the store runs out of salespeople, you get to see the merchandise. This is called "in your face customer service"

Other stores take the opposite approach. When you can't find the right size adapter for your new portable electronic zapper gizmo thingy, you look for help in aisle three. Nobody there. Aisle four? Still nobody. Aisle five? Nope. Aisle six? Seven? Fifty-six?

This is called "run for cover customer service".

Then there is the equipment shop that welcomes you with open arms when your lawn tractor starts sounding like dentures in a blender.

"It just needs a routine cleaning. We charge $150 for that," the friendly salesman says. Then he lowers his voice. "But you could probably do it yourself."

You commend him on his helpfulness. He beams with pride. "Yup. I thought it up by myself. Whenever a customer tries to fix something at home, we make a whole lot more money the next day. Think my boss will give me a raise for this?"

I call this "do-it-yourself-extortion".

And what about the three companies that came to quote on some ductwork? Each looks around, takes some notes and promises to get back to us with a quote.

We wait. And wait. And wait.

We call back the first company, which promises to get back to us with its quote. It makes the same promise consistently each time we call. I just love a reliable company.

This is called "consistent filibuster customer service".

We call the second company. We call them in the day. We call them in the night. We call them in the dark. We call them in the light. We call them in the morn. Well call them at high noon. We call them at dinner, and by the light of the moon.

Even bad poetry doesn't help. I just love a company that doesn't pester me by answering the phone.

I call this "Invisible Man customer service".

In the end, we choose a third company. To what does it owe the winning bid? Excellent quality? No. Great price? No. Strong guarantee? No? Answering their phone? Yes.

We hire the best paperwork fillers to renovate our ductwork ? and we cross our fingers that we never have to choose a heart surgeon that way.

I call this "present-at-attendance customer service".

Our pest control company showed us a different approach.

"Honey, the flies are getting in the house. Time to call Pest Control Guy."

"OK, I'll do it right after I answer the phone. Hello?

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy. When would you like your annual pest controlling?"

"How did you know? Well, as soon as possible. Hold on, that's the door bell."

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

"But, you were just on the phone."

"You said ASAP, so here I am."

I call this "customer service on steroids".

If you own a business, run a family or do anything that brings you into contact with other human beings, please take note. One of these customer service styles is actually good.

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

OK, that's enough. We don't have pests in this column.

"Hello, this is Pest Control Guy."

By the way, if you want to provide feedback to this column, I'll be holding my hands over my ears and singing the Klingon national anthem. I call that "satirical customer service."

"Hello, this is..." SWAT!

(Please email me at Info@TheHappyGuy.com if you have any customer service stories you would like to see in a future column.)

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt. To receive his satirical happiness column weekly, sign up at http://TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html. This article first appeared at http://TheHappyGuy.com/customer-service.html.

home | site map
© 2006 Contactcenterhelp.com

Business & News :Top Business News | Business Books And Business ArticlesDubai Property ReviewJob Page from A Chefs Help | | Online Degree |   | | Web Directory | MySpace Layout | Lease Bad Credit | Hidden Costs In Credit Cards | Ebusiness Ethical Legal Regulatory | Auto Sales Training | Business Credit Cards  |  Credit Cards Articles |Conference Call |  | Dubai Business

Technology & Internet : Latest Technologies | Domain Hosting | CMS : Content Management System | Centrino Refurbished Laptop | Computer Reference| Internet Internet Video Streaming | Plastic Bottles | Streaming Audio & Online Music Information |venmar | Domain Name | Web Hosting | RSS Feeds filetype:rss  Blogging RSS & Feeds | | Cell Phones | Free MP3 | GPS Technology | Video iPod | Web Conferencing | Hard Drive Recovery | Free Web Forum | About Domain Names | Basics Of RSS | About Web Hosting | Search Engine Ranking | PPC Marketing | Message Boards | Ad Tracking Solutions | Blogging Resources |

Customer Service :  Call Center Software  | help desk service desk contact center | contact center consultants CRM Customer Relationship Management | | Positive Attitude Tips & Information | Call Center Forum | Contact Center Forum Forum  | Telemarketing  | Call Center   |

Health and Beauty : Cancer Center | Insurance Health Care PositionsWomen Reference  | Breast Cancer Rash Skin | Mesothelioma Search Engine | Fashion | Fitness Equipment Information | Acne Medicine Acne-inc | Hair loss and Food | First Aid Kits | Aprons |Treadmill  |  Mesothelioma | Breast Cancer Rash Skin | Natural Health  | Biloba Ginkgo | Herbal Remedies | South beach Diet | Acne Medicine Acne-inc | Aromatherapy | Chinese Tea | Acne Treatment | Bodybuilding |antioxidants | Chitosan | Lecithin

Making Money :Fast ways to make money now | Make money fast at home | Work at Home | Adsense Advanced Resource | |

 Travel & Travel Guide :Dubai Guide | Buy Share Time | Robots International Travel Tips | Robots Travel Tips | Your Online Travel Guide |  Aspen | Kauai | Atlanta | Caribbean | Amsterdam | Amelia Island | Sanibel Island | All Inclusive Resorts | Travel Insurance | World Travel

Food : Perfect Food| Green Tea | Perfect Food Coffee | Indian Perfect Food | Recipes & Food and Drink Information | Perfect Food Website | Italian Perfect Food | Perfect Food Cooking Tips | Chinese Perfect Food |